Long time, no write.

Tue, 08 Dec 2009 19:35:24 GMT

Alot has gone on since my last post.

Moved back in with my dad and Anette. Didn't want to. But Findlay wasn't for me. Stupid town. lol. Got a job. At Amf lanes. Working at the bowling ally for the most part is pretty fun. Gotta find another job tho. Need to make more money. Me & scott ended our relationship. Lasted a year. A good year at that. But I wasn't really happy anymore and neither was he. It was kinda like..trying to keep a family together when you know your both depressed, but you stay together anyways bc you don't wanna be alone. We tryed, but neither of us were good at expressing our feelings to one another. On a new note. New boyfriend. His name is zach. & I couldn't be more happy. He is what a boyfriend should be. He takes care of me. He has a job. When im upset, he is there to hold my hand and keep me close. I'm very picky with guys anymore. But the story behind me and zach is this. When i was still in Findlay..me and dale went to the tech n9ne concert in Cleveland. I was up in the front..and well you couldn't move. This wasn't a normal crowd thing. I mean no one could really move.

Well lucky me..i didn't eat that day. So i was feeling pretty weak. I see this guy in front of me (Zach) and he turns around..and gave me one those.."who's that..*turns back around* and then looked again LOL. Well he could tell i wasn't handing it very well. and he said to me "you can lay on me if you want" So he bent down a little on the stage, so i could put my head on him. But i couldn't take it. So i told him "i need to get out of here". He punched some people & got me out. Went & got me water. Pretty much saved my life. I was having an asthma attack..so without him getting me out, pretty sure i would have fell to the floor. Anyways... he asked for my number. And normally anyone who knows me. I stay with my group..and i hate guys that hit on me at shows. But he was so different. Just respectful and everything. Not to mention cute ;) So i gave him my number. We started hanging out..and i realized this could be a really good thing for me. I mean he does everything a guy should. I've said it so many times before..where i thought this or that guy was what i wanted or needed. Or maybe it was just lust talking. But zach is truly what i believe i was suppose to find right now. When your not looking..is when the best things in life can happen.

In my life..i'm deff one of those people who search's for love. I've just been looking in all the wrong places. I have always seen it as..it doesn't matter who you love. If they make you truly happy, keep them. When it comes to girls. I cant really comment on that one. Its a little more personal subject that i wouldn't just write freely about just bc i don't think people would understand. Lets just leave it to that. But here's my new goals. Save enough money to maybe FINALLY figure out what i want to go to college for. I at least want to try. If i don't like it. So be it. Move out again. But this time plan it out over time. Don't just leave bc things get bad. I liked it alot better not being in this house. But for right now..don't have much of a choice. Make this thing with zach work. For once..i really want to make something work. I guess thats the only goals i have at the moment. Gotta start small before you can get big. One thing at a time.

New years is coming up. Just in time to. A way of..starting FRESH. Thought about going to NYE twiztid again this year. But i'm not sure if i want to. or if i can really bc of my job. Then i know zach was saying i could go with him to his brothers for NYE. Choices, choices. I have ALOT to try to plan out this coming year. Over the years, the concerts and seeing people. Its still something I enjoy more then anything. And this past year i've done more then i have my whole life. I hope next year is just as big ;) I wanna go and see raz again. Maybe for a week this time. Going to NM was deff a huge highlight for me. Going to Michigan twice. Going to Cleveland 4 times. The gathering. Its been nothing but traveling the past 4/5 months honestly. lol. And this year im gonna add some places to my list. Like..the beach with Zach. Vist my cousin in KY. She moved out there this summer, so would like to vist her. Go and vist 2k in CT. Vist Jen in CO bc i would really just like to hang out with her even if its a couple of days. Thats already 4 new places ive added. Pretty sure there will be more. I just LOVE going to places. You know how some people cant stay in one place for to long? I feel like thats me. lol.

ANYWAYS. This is result in me not updating in FOREVER. I'll end it with a photo of zach. Because he is the light in my life as of right now :)

-kitten

deadxkittenx

Long time, no write.